People Are Funny

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Writing

I was recently hired to write a research proposal. It was to be an initial proposal 7 pages long. Here was the brief I received:

“Initial Research proposal for opportunities for XXX Market in XXX market

7 page Research proposal is needed in the initial phase which will be later taken through for full market research

with references and without plagiarism”


I have x’d out the key words for confidentiality reasons even though no one said I couldn’t talk or write about the project. Oh and it was to be done in 3 days.

Deadline!

So I figured, 3 days, 7 pages, doddle right? Wrong!

Moments after accepting the job, I find out there is NO DATA gathered!

I was furious! I so wished I could reach through the screen and punch they guy. I felt duped, cheated and naive.

Aside from being told it was to be used to pitch for funding, I still have no clue why this person (well the company he works for) is after doing the research. What is the end purpose? Do they make the type of product and want to get into the market in that place? Are they representing someone else who wants to get in? Who exactly are they pitching to? A bank? A private investor? An organization? I am clueless!

Panic!

This is how I felt!

But, me being me, I did the job. Actually, I did it in 2 days. You might well ask, Why?

  1. I hate going back on my word
  2. I need the money
  3. I am new on the site where I got the job and need positive feedback to get more jobs and (hopefully) much better jobs

So for 2 days I felt like I was back at university. Rushing to gather data, to understand what I collected, to assemble it into some sort of form and then type it up (in my own words) in such a way that would not only be comprehensive but also professional. Only this time I didn’t feel I was getting enough out of all my efforts. I had bid low on the job thinking it came with data and just needed writing up so in the end am being paid a pittance for the work.

I haven’t heard back from the guy yet. It being Friday I probably won’t until Monday. He’d better be delighted with it!

But they say that everything happens for a reason so now the panic and work is done, I am trying to find the positives.

  • I did complete the job – early – despite the short deadline
  • My work cannot be considered shoddy by anyone’s standards
  • I know that I’ve still “got it”!
  • I have learned a valuable lesson – ask lots of questions before accepting anything!
  • I have laughed
  • When I’m in a pinch, my daughter helps out

I laugh at this because what else can I do? Some guy gives such a shit brief on such an important (for him obviously) job and gets lucky by giving the job to me! You just have to laugh at that, right?!

It may not have been the easiest of experiences and might have got my blood pumping and my head aching, but all in all, I’m happy. And that’s what counts!

Psaryce xo

Get Off The Treadmill & Slow Down

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Keep Calm & Slow Down

 I hate going out these days.

 Everyone is in such a rush.

 On the roads people jump out in front of others when they really shouldn’t. Others drive too close to the car in front. Some rev their engines in frustration. Motorbikes weave dangerously around cars in their effort to “get ahead”. There are even some drivers who purposely get into the wrong lane then push into the right one at the last minute.

Sadly though it isn’t just on the roads any longer. Maybe it hasn’t been for a while and I am only just noticing how obsessed everyone has become with speed. No, I haven’t lived in a bubble for the past 20 odd years. I know it has been a thing talked about often – how we are all rushing about in the rat race.

The problem, as I see it, is:

  1. It isn’t just in big cities or even small cities for that matter
  2. It isn’t just on the roads
  3. It isn’t just working people (the members of the “rat race”)
  4. It isn’t even just “rush hour” (which incidentally is more like 3 hours now!)

Slow Down Button

The more I look, the more I see that it is people from all walks of life. People who are out and about for a wide variety of reasons. From mothers with children to elderly couples and all those in between. They are all walking as fast as possible. They stand in queues fidgeting and complaining or huffing audibly. The tactics used on the roads are even employed in shops and on the streets. They try to jump the queue, to get ahead, to cut down their own waiting time. They occasionally pretend to not understand where the queue is – a tactic normally employed by the older generation.

Slown Down Poster

Women pushing baby buggies use them to bully their way down aisles or to get in front of someone. Their children seem to be trained to kick up a fuss at the most crucial moment giving the mother an excuse to be rude or at least back up the silent plea in her eyes that beg you to give her a break. When these women pair up with others of their kind, there is no chance of anyone getting through them. Their tactic changes slightly and employs conversation as the main stratagem. They chatted away as if they haven’t seen another living being for months) and ignore the children who, having already deployed their usual “kick up a fuss” routine, behave abominably. It you so much as say “Excuse me please”, they will turn on you with venomous eyes and, at best, move 1 inch before ignoring your attempts to squeeze through. Meanwhile their children are hindering any person in sight, enjoying the freedom and the chaos it causes. The mothers continue chattering away. It is only when their children pester them or hinder them that they will pay any attention. Typically a chastisement the children have learned to ignore after a few seconds.

Slow On Road
Yesterday, I was in the grocery store using one of the self-check out machines. There were 6 of them in total. A women with a buggy kept inching her way at me the whole time I was scanning my items. I only had 6. At the third item, I started slowing down. I hate to be rushed. She kept pushing that buggy forward. By the time I had finished, it was just millimetres from the backs of my calves. I was angry as I left vowing to never go to that store again. I know that is childish but the customers in that store tend to be more rude than in others.

But why?!It was mid-morning. No where near and school run times. She wasn’t dressed as if on her way to work. The items she was buying were only snacks (crisps and sweets really). So why on Earth was she in such a hurry? I am the first one to give the benefit of the doubt but only if I can think of a good excuse for an individual. But when they are so many behaving in this way, I can’t come up with enough reasons!

On the way back to my car, I passed by the little playground in the middle of the High Street (is it a High Street when it is only a village?). As usual, there were children wanting to play but none on the equipment. They were tugging at the mother’s arms and trousers and being told “we don’t have time today”. It is very, very rare to see a child having more than just 1 go on the slide. But there is never a seat available at the bakery and always a queue going out the door.
Slow Down Jack JBack at my car, I put my shopping in the boot and climb into the passenger seat. There are cars queueing in the car park and one already has it’s indicator on to grab my spot. I shut the door and sit. I turn on my iTunes, put my headphones on and play Jack Johnson’s “Inaudible Melodies” and listen. It is one of my favourite songs. When it finishes, I climb over to the driver’s seat and get ready to set off. The queue of cars has gone and no one is waiting for me to pull out.

I don’t feel guilty at all for duping the other drivers waiting for a space to park. If I hadn’t taken time to calm down, I would have, no doubt, become more annoyed on the drive home.

So my message for this post is simple: SLOW DOWN! Maybe try to plan things to allow you more time to get stuff done. Take a moment when you need to calm down.

Psaryce xo

Apathy – Society’s Disease

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The other night two incidents occurred which have left me feeling unsettled. Unsettled and angry … at myself. I am not the type of person to “walk on by” or “turn a blind eye”. I get involved. Whether that is always good or not doesn’t really matter. Inaction, in my mind, is far worse.

I was in the city centre having a few drinks with a friend. It was a cute little street filled with bars, pubs and restaurants. The ideal location to hop about from one place to another – each with its own ambience. We had just come out of one bar and were discussing where to go next. Then a couple walking away caught my eye just before I saw a waiter step out of the Tapas Bar and call after them. “Excuse me! Excuse me!”. The couple carried on walking very casually. The waiter looked perplexed. I asked my friend “Should we get their attention?”. The reply I got was “No, we shouldn’t get involved. It’s not our business”.

I was torn. I had to very quickly weigh the importance of assisting the stranger/s versus the risk of offending my friend. I mentally debated a tad too long and the couple were too far away to intervene without chasing after them. So I acquiesced to my friend and let it go. But I still didn’t feel comfortable about it.

At first I thought they were skipping out without paying. But their casual nature combined with the waiter’s own relaxed attitude soon got me thinking of other alternatives. Perhaps they left too much money. Maybe one of them left a personal belonging behind. Or dropped something without knowing.

I considered how frustrating it might be for them at the end of the night (or even the next day) to discover something had been lost. What a hassle it might be to “re-trace” their steps to try and find it. And it annoyed me to no end thinking of how I could have just stepped in and potentially saved them the palaver.

But I didn’t so on with the evening I went, shoving the whole thing to the back of my mind. I managed to do that okay and proceeded to have a nice time. Until the second incident arose.

We had picked up a take away and were sat in my car talking when I noticed a man in the street behind us (via my rear view mirror). He had fallen off a bike and was slowly getting up. I continued to watch his progress with some concern. He didn’t seem to be managing the bike very well. He got halfway down the street towards my car and then fell off again. I said to my friend what was happening and the reply once again was “not to get involved” – “it’s not our business” and “it is often more trouble than it’s worth”. There were other people in the street. They were just standing and watching the man but doing nothing. I got angry inside. I knew the man had probably had a few drinks but nonetheless he wasn’t shouting or anything of that sort. I wanted to go see that he was okay and could get home but it was dark out and I didn’t think it would be wise to go over to him on my own.

So I ended the evening. I dropped the friend off and went home. My mind filled with all sorts of thoughts about the evening and in particular the reactions of my friend. I keep saying friend but I don’t really feel like that now. I understand everyone has their own views and whatnot but not too sure I want to be friends with anyone with those views.

Why? Because I think we should all get more involved at times like this and in general. These are just small, little nothing incidents really but if no one will get involved with the small things, then the big things will get ignored as well. Bigger incidents involving children, elderly people, everyday ordinary people whose lives may get turned upside down amidst a huge shock because NO ONE would GET INVOLVED!

What do you really have to lose by stepping in? Nothing!

What do you have to gain by getting involved? Potentially a lot!

You might only receive a simple but genuine thank you for something small. Or you might just get a warm fuzzy feeling for helping someone out. But that one little action could caused a ripple and effect many more people than you will ever know.

So these incidents have reminded me that I’m not happy to stand aside. I don’t feel comfortable “walking on by” and I certainly will not defer to the opinion of another person when I don’t agree with it in my heart.

I will get involved. I will step in. I will stick my nose into business that isn’t mine.

I will not be apathetic!

Psaryce xo

Silence

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I have been very silent on here for quite a while. Although there has been much going on in my life, there has been one single issue plaguing my mind.

Should I switch this blog to “private”?

There are a few people out there whom I have been feeling do not deserve to know my thoughts & feelings. And I know most of them read this blog.

So while I continue to debate the issue in my head, I’ll try to post things that I won’t mind them reading.

For everyone else – sorry for the silence.

Psaryce xo

My Nephew

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I know I have been ridiculously quiet the past few weeks. I’ve been juggling diabetes and depression. It is a vicious cycle.

Still, once in a while something comes along and brightens my day. This time it was finally finding my nephew’s YouTube channel and watching his videos. I’ve been trying to find it for a while now but never quite got round to asking the right people (that vicious cycle intruding on my life again – makes me forget things).

I thought my youngest would like to see it. Living an ocean apart from family, she does enjoy it when she can see parts of their lives. Pictures, videos, comments on Facebook, etc. I suppose it helps her feel connected to them.

I showed one of his videos to her this morning before she left for school. She was like “Wow! He can play the guitar!”. I left her to the computer and went to get dressed. When I returned, she was watching another while on her Blackberry downloading the first one. She said “I really like this song! It’s cool!”. Auntie pride and Mother love combined and gave me a warm fuzzy feeling. I smiled. Inside and out.

So here it is … the video …

 

 

Awesome job Tommy! Keep writing, keep playing and keep posting!

 

Psaryce x

Self-Destruction

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I’m so angry I feel physically sick. I cannot still my mind. My hands are shaking. I want to lash out but there is no one here to attack. I want to scream but no one would hear. And I feel I need to be heard. I need you to hear me. I need you to actually listen and hear what I am feeling. But I know that cannot happen. It never has before so it is foolish to think it could now. I think you are incapable of seeing or understanding someone else’s point of view.

How else could you do this to me? Claiming to know I would be upset yet you do it anyway. You attitude cold and uncaring. Your closed comments all but say “tough shit if you don’t like it”. As always – what you want comes first. To hell with everyone else.

I want to drown. I want to sink into oblivion. I want to go somewhere that I can escape from the pain. I want to lose consciousness. I want to feel physical pain so raw that it blocks out these emotions. I want to find a way to give in. I want to forget that I have responsibilities – that later this evening I have to put on the adult, parental mask and pretend that I am strong. I cannot ignore that as desperately as I want to.

How would it feel to drink until I passed out? What else could I do to escape? Nothing appeals to my mind. It is all so temporary. I am tired sticking plasters on my life. I want something lasting – something real that I can rely on & that won’t break if I lean too heavily.

Later I will have to hide all that I feel inside right now. There will be no release of these emotions. I know they will eat away at me inside. I just hope that one day they manage to destroy themselves so I can be free.

 

Psaryce x