I never truly noticed until recently just how up and down every day can be. In the past it all just overwhelmed me. I couldn’t separate the highs from the lows – it all just jumbled together and confused me. I often felt envious of people whose lives seem to coast along on a plateau with a few minor bumps thrown in here and there. They seem to live their lives on an even keel whereas mine was always in the midst of a storm. A “chaotic whirlwind” is how I once described my life.
But I have learned quite a lot of things in the past few months. Things like … other people also go through ups and downs. Okay maybe not on a daily basis, perhaps not even on a monthly basis. But the point is they experience these fluctuations. I am not alone.
The main thing I have learned is how to separate things out. I can how enjoy the ups! I can also cope with the downs. I have managed somehow to achieve some sort of balance within myself. I find it amazing!
For years I felt as if I were standing on a beach beneath a massive wave that just would not break. I was desperate for it to give and crash down upon me. The wave represented all the things that were holding me back in life. I knew they were all internal and of my own making. I just couldn’t work out how to release them so the wave would give way.
I still don’t know how I have gotten to this point. I don’t sense that foreboding “Big Kahuna” any longer. Yes there is always going to be something in the water but I am now able to ride the waves that remain.