I feel as though I have been standing on the shoreline while a hurricane passes over. I somehow managed to stay upright for a while but eventually was beaten down to the ground where I curled into a ball as the winds, rains and dirt pummelled my body, my mind and my very soul.
I am still there. Lying on the ground and tucked up tight. I cannot move from the beating and pure exhaustion. My mind doesn’t know how to process what has happened. Thoughts race through my mind but most don’t even register. I know they exist but not in the conscious part of my brain. I feel them as if from a distance. They are fluid and tumbling like a leaf on a rapid river. I am too tired to even try to grab one and examine it. I just lie there and that is all I can do.
My body aches. It has been thrown about the ground randomly in the wind. I vaguely recall driftwood smashing into me at times. I feel bruised from head to toe. Like my thoughts, the full power of the pain doesn’t quite register. It is as though I am remembering the sharp stabbing, the relentless assault through a veil. I am not numb; I feel the pain but it is on a different level of my being. It is deeper then the physical. It strikes at my spirit. I am beaten, broken and can do nothing but be obedient. Mother Nature has defeated me and I know I shall never be the same again.