Monthly Archives: December 2016

Reflecting on 2016 & Welcoming 2017



Overall, I am thankful. I have survived a year full of chaotic ups and downs. At times, I wasn’t sure I could make it through. At other times, I wasn’t sure that I wanted to – yes I have been that low many times this year. There have been some highs as well so I guess 2016 wasn’t all bad.

It started out bad though. It started with a battle between me and the DWP to get assessed for ESA (employment and support allowance) since I couldn’t (and still can’t) work due to health issues. The stress and anxiety of having to go through the assessment was bad enough but it was made even worse by them turning me away one time even though I had an appointment. That meant I had to go through the same anxious-filled process all over again. To be fair the first time wasn’t their fault. Someone I had considered a friend for many years let me down at the last minute – I had been counting on him for a lift to the appointment and support during it (RIP friendship #1). My ex, bless him, tried to help but that was the appointment they turned me away. It was an awful few months trying to get it sorted. In the end 2 very good friends went with me and gave me the support I needed.

Those 2 friends (Lesley and Daz) are one good thing that happened in 2016 for me. We’d met the previous summer but only really began growing our friendship in February. Lesley and I would chat about the many things we have in common and our relationship bloomed. There are many times I have to thank her for helping me out of ruts and potholes and big gaping craters this year. We have spent many days relaxing, chatting, gardening and more – especially in the Spring and Summer when we would kick back in my garden and just be.

While gaining these friendships, I seem to have lost yet another. A woman I classed as my best mate suddenly blanked me. She stopped speaking to me without even giving a clue as to why. I still don’t understand it but I do miss her (RIP friendship #2).

During the first part of the year, I bought 2 cars. First a little Nissan Micra which I got for a steal but then didn’t like how the clutch stuck so put it aside for Hoovy and bought a Vectra. Big mistake. But more on that later as there were other vehicles woes to deal with first and for that time at least, the Vectra was running.

My daughter’s bike (50cc ped) was stolen in June! The police were less than helpful (cheers guys!). We loaded up social media with images of the bike and pleas for information. Eventually we struck gold. But it wasn’t an easy straight-forward affair. Nothing ever is in my life.

11pm on a Friday night, my daughter and I foolishly set out to explore some local woods where it had been spotted. With only our phones for light, we walked (I stumbled about) looking for it. We didn’t really know the area – in fact I had never been there. I think it took an hour but we did find it. That was only the beginning though as it was properly stuck in 6 inches of mud at the bottom of a hill – we like to call it The Mud Pit. An hour later, daughter exhausted and phones giving out, we left it there. We returned with help the next morning and they got it out and back home. She decided to keep it as a project.

4 weeks later, it was stolen again – this time they broke the locks on our gate. We couldn’t believe it. The damned thing didn’t even start and they stole it anyway! Police, helpful as always, found it, had it recovered and then bothered to ring us. She told them to keep it. Why should she pay £150 to get it back when they found it less than a mile from our home? The victim is victimised by the police just so they can try to take our money. Robbing from the poor are we Police?

Around June, I had a bit of fortune fall and we excitedly booked flights to go to the USA! There was a lot to do to prepare. For starters our passports. A trip to London on the bus sounded the best way to go. Only our bus was late getting in and after a nice day in the city, we missed the bus back (it’s okay just got the next one). But the day exhausted me entirely.

The trip itself was a chaotic whirlwind of non-stop going and doing. My favourite time was on the beach – it was heaven! I love the water; it is one of the things I miss most about home. Seeing everyone after so long was amazing but didn’t come without incidents. My anxiety and panic were severely raised during one event and I didn’t cope very well. Only 2 people seemed to notice or else the rest simply didn’t care. In the end I was verbally attacked by my eldest sister in front of everyone. Needless to say that relationship also ended this year. I simply don’t need fake love in my life.

After the trip, it took a while to recover from the travelling and then I hit rock bottom. After being so busy and around people 24/7, being back home alone was difficult to re-adjust to.

Also on my return, I had to deal with the Vectra that died 4 days before we left for the trip. Luckily I still had the Micra. At least I did until just before Xmas when it failed it’s MOT big time. To the tune of £450 to be exact. So I finish the year without wheels and 2 dead cars sat outside. Oh and my daughter’s bike also broke – it sort of runs but not safe to drive. So we’re both wheel-less.

This year, my baby turned 18 and entered adulthood proper. She found out it’s not so easy quite early on. But I think she still had a nice birthday, got to go out to clubs, had a nice meal with her boyfriend’s family. She also lucked out on gifts as she got a tons of her favourite brand of makeup and lots of other lovely gifts.

For her the gifts kept coming and she had a great Xmas as well. I was delighted with my gifts (including a bottle Chocolate Bailey’s – yum!). New pyjamas are always welcomed from me and I even got a lovely pair of kitty slippers.

So 2016 wasn’t all bad but I’m still happy to see it go. For me the bad outweighed the good and so I hope the new year will bring more stability, calmness, happiness, more fun times and that it will have a bit of magical sparkle to it.

So long 2016 ……. Hello 2017!!!


Psaryce x

PS: nearly didn’t get this finished as my mind has been struggling to sort through everything that happened this year and process a lot of things I have yet to accept.