This time next week I will be on a bus with Chrissy heading to London Gatwick airport. It feels so strange to think that. I’ve not been in the US for 16 years – well neither of us have to be honest. I am filled with so many emotions that it feels overwhelming.
I am super excited of course. Having lived a very hum-drum life for many years, this is a huge event for me. I can’t wait to see my family whom I love dearly. I’m especially looking forward to hugs with my mother, my eldest daughter and her 3 boys – I have 3 grandsons :O I would also dearly love to hug my son Nikkolas but that will be up to him. But just the thought of being with everyone is mind-blowing for me. I look forward to spending time with my sisters and hopefully getting to do some things with each of them to just spend time one-on-one. For example sitting and crocheting or knitting with my eldest sister Sandy. Maybe she can teach me a thing or two but it won’t matter as I just want the experience. Maybe go somewhere with my other sister Donna and get silly like we used to do. I could use a bit of sister silly in my life and think she could too.
I am nervous. In the run up to leaving, I am anxious about packing the right things, not forgetting something important and also getting household tasks completed – like defrosting the freezer! Ugh I hate doing that. I’m trying to be very organized about packing but think I have gone off the list a bit. I may have packed more than planned. But when the suitcase isn’t full what can you do?!
I am happy. Not something I am normally but at the moment I am so glad I have this opportunity. It feels good this whole trip thing. I feel I deserve it after all this time. There have been moments in the past 2 months where I felt I didn’t deserve it; felt I’d been too spontaneous and selfish for booking it. But now I am focusing on the love we will all share in person, face-to-face.
I am nervous. The whole getting to the plane on time is a source of anxiety for me. I know I have everything planned out but can’t help worry that mundane things like traffic will get in the way of the plan. Once I’m at the airport and checked in I know I will be able to relax a bit.
I’m ecstatic! I can’t wait for the laughter of which I’m sure there will be plenty. We’re all a bit daffy so lots of laughing is pretty much a guarantee. I love the sound of laughter – it warms my heart and soothes my soul.
I currently feel like I’m in limbo. I have all this stuff to do but am too impatient. I want to be on the move not held down seeing to boring details. I started counting down the days back when there were 50 to go but the last 43 days have flown by. I suspect these last 7 are going to drag on but I really hope not. I hate waiting for things to happen!
So these are just some of the feelings and thoughts I’m having. There are many more but I don’t want to bore anyone.
Psaryce x
Psaryce's Sandbox 