Despite being called a “free spirit”, I like routines. They help keep me grounded. They help my brain to think a bit more orderly. I gain a sense of purpose or meaning to my existence. I have a vague morning routine and one at night.
In the morning, I stumbled down the stairs and go straight to the kettle. Once that’s going, I venture to my desk to collect yesterday’s cup and switch the computer on. Back to the kitchen to make the cup of life then I go sit down at my desk in the conservatory. I browse through the posts on Facebook as I light up a cigarette and take my first sips of the sweet, creamy coffee in my cup.
I peruse the “On This Day” posts and share the ones that make me laugh, smile or which I still feel strongly about. I set a sage incense stick burning and start playing a Chakra healing CD. Then onto Outlook to weed through the emails that accumulated overnight.
On days I blog, this is the point where I start. Other days, I write a list of things to do during the day. Twice a month (now I don’t have wheels to get out), I order my groceries online. Every Friday, I have to get going more quickly as I have to get to my therapist appointment. I don’t usually blog on those mornings as I am too filled with anxiety.
After that, well that is where I get all confused and don’t know what to do. Even though I have a “To Do” list, I struggle. I know I have hours ahead of me to get things done and have no sense of priority to do them. Most days I only get 1 or 2 things done – if that. I try to list 6 tasks every day. But without being held accountable, I rarely do much of anything.
In fact, I honestly couldn’t tell you what I have actually done most days. I often have rough nights where I don’t get much sleep so I feel drained the next day. It’s hard to get motivated when you feel like you were up all night. Sometimes the disturbed sleep is from my diabetes. Sometimes it’s from pain. Other times, I can see no reason at all why I wake every hour. So I often have a nap during the day on the couch. I choose the couch so I don’t sleep too long – it isn’t that comfy.
There is so much I want to do but can’t seem to find the energy or else I’m distracted by pain. It is frustrating. Sometimes it is fun stuff, like crafting, but I don’t feel I deserve to play before I get the work done. So often the fun stuff never happens.
At night, I normally take a drink upstairs and get ready for bed. I take my medicines and then I call my Mommy. We talk for about an hour each night catching up on our days or just generally chatting. After that, I usually read a chapter of whatever book I’m reading at the time. Then it’s lights out with the hopes that this will be a good night. That I won’t wake until morning has come.
So I have my mornings and nights sorted. It’s all the hours in between that I need to structure better so I don’t feel like I am lost and just wandering. Do you have routines? What are they? Do you have any advice for me on how to get my days organized?